Are you on some type of medication?
At work we have what you'd call an intranet (extra emphasis necessary) bulletin board or what they call, "Buy, Sell, Trade." People put silly things for sale on it when they're cleaning out their garages or moving. Or, like me, ask other's opinions for decent daycares in the area (of which I got only 3 worthless replies-one of which was for a place where I'd have to sell my firstborn in order to afford to send him there, which really wouldn't make much sense, now would it-thanks).
So, to give you a better idea of how this typically works (because you'd rather break a toe on the bathtub than be left not knowing what it's all about, right?) let me break down the 4 standard types of BB posts for you (see, I've got to do this whole backstory thing):
1) The seller post. As stated above consists of people cleaning out junk they think you might want to pay for. Also known as the lazy man's garage sale. They'll often offer to provide a picture of the decrepit item at your request. They'll end up donating it to charity if nobody buys it.
2) The inquiring post. They ask for advice on landscapers, mechanics, sellers of BEAUTYCONTROL, accupuncturists and online scrapbooking. Replies usually consist of someone's brother-in-law who does all in his garage.
3) The fund-raiser post. Someone selling giant (bury dead bodies*) garbage bags, candy bars and scary-sounding things like "headhuggers"**.
4) The random post. This includes everything from announcing (bragging about) one's wife's 1st novel being published, free items like ping pong tables & thouroughbred dogs, aaaaaaand, really quite odd things like....
SELLING BABIES ON THE BLACK MARKET!!!
This was one that I will say sparked an interest in me like "free puppies to good home," & who doesn't love taking home a free puppy on a whim & then stopping by PetSmart on the way home for a spur-of-the-moment pet supply stock-up that ends up defeating the purpose of getting the doggie for free in the first place. And Okay, maybe the "black market" is a bit of an exaggeration. But, just read below:
"I wanted to get the word out to as many people as possible. A Family from my home town of Rolla is looking for a loving adoptive family for a 13 week old baby boy. Miles was removed from his birth mother last week and placed with a family member until a suitable adoptive family can be found. Birth parents are users of meth - Miles has no apparent ill health at this time but that doesn't mean he won't in the future. If you know of anyone who might be interested please let me know. Thanks"
Where, in the BB code of NORMAL standards for posting, does it say "crack babies for sale" is okay??
*Creepy guy in office: "Blah blah blah."
Only part of conversation I overhear: "Honey, I couldn't even fit a dead body in my trunk!"
Resulting office gossip fodder: Priceless
**When I read something like: "we make hats for people going through chemotherapy or who have lost all their hair due to a fire," I just picture Zeus's brother from the movie Hercules with the flaming blue hair, like that's all that's on fire on these people's heads is their hair? Aaaannd... that's where I'm doomed to Hell.
Which somehow leads me to this morning's conversation:
Cube mate: On the Buy, Sell, Trade site, what is this "Precious Moments-let him enter your heart" thing that is up for bid?
Me: It's a plea for your soul. "Anissa" (the poster's name, is almost a palindrome: "Assina," only that almost makes a bad word, but that's what Satan's all about, so I'm sure it's him in disguise. You know the whole wolf in sheep's clothing bit) put this on the "buy sell trade" so that you can buy the trinket in "TRADE" for your soul. See how this works?
Cube mate: Are you on some type of medication?
So, to give you a better idea of how this typically works (because you'd rather break a toe on the bathtub than be left not knowing what it's all about, right?) let me break down the 4 standard types of BB posts for you (see, I've got to do this whole backstory thing):
1) The seller post. As stated above consists of people cleaning out junk they think you might want to pay for. Also known as the lazy man's garage sale. They'll often offer to provide a picture of the decrepit item at your request. They'll end up donating it to charity if nobody buys it.
2) The inquiring post. They ask for advice on landscapers, mechanics, sellers of BEAUTYCONTROL, accupuncturists and online scrapbooking. Replies usually consist of someone's brother-in-law who does all in his garage.
3) The fund-raiser post. Someone selling giant (bury dead bodies*) garbage bags, candy bars and scary-sounding things like "headhuggers"**.
4) The random post. This includes everything from announcing (bragging about) one's wife's 1st novel being published, free items like ping pong tables & thouroughbred dogs, aaaaaaand, really quite odd things like....
SELLING BABIES ON THE BLACK MARKET!!!
This was one that I will say sparked an interest in me like "free puppies to good home," & who doesn't love taking home a free puppy on a whim & then stopping by PetSmart on the way home for a spur-of-the-moment pet supply stock-up that ends up defeating the purpose of getting the doggie for free in the first place. And Okay, maybe the "black market" is a bit of an exaggeration. But, just read below:
"I wanted to get the word out to as many people as possible. A Family from my home town of Rolla is looking for a loving adoptive family for a 13 week old baby boy. Miles was removed from his birth mother last week and placed with a family member until a suitable adoptive family can be found. Birth parents are users of meth - Miles has no apparent ill health at this time but that doesn't mean he won't in the future. If you know of anyone who might be interested please let me know. Thanks"
Where, in the BB code of NORMAL standards for posting, does it say "crack babies for sale" is okay??
*Creepy guy in office: "Blah blah blah."
Only part of conversation I overhear: "Honey, I couldn't even fit a dead body in my trunk!"
Resulting office gossip fodder: Priceless
**When I read something like: "we make hats for people going through chemotherapy or who have lost all their hair due to a fire," I just picture Zeus's brother from the movie Hercules with the flaming blue hair, like that's all that's on fire on these people's heads is their hair? Aaaannd... that's where I'm doomed to Hell.
Which somehow leads me to this morning's conversation:
Cube mate: On the Buy, Sell, Trade site, what is this "Precious Moments-let him enter your heart" thing that is up for bid?
Me: It's a plea for your soul. "Anissa" (the poster's name, is almost a palindrome: "Assina," only that almost makes a bad word, but that's what Satan's all about, so I'm sure it's him in disguise. You know the whole wolf in sheep's clothing bit) put this on the "buy sell trade" so that you can buy the trinket in "TRADE" for your soul. See how this works?
Cube mate: Are you on some type of medication?
posted by Studio P Photography at 9:09 AM
1 Comments:
This is too true to be funny-yet it is down right hilarious! I can remember odd postings such as these on a regular basis and recall thinking that I had stuff I wanted to post but weighed the pros and cons of selling my goods vs. being associated w/the crazies. That being said-I have a very nice set of golf clubs for sale...
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